Book Review

Strength, Courage and Confidence; What Facial Difference Teaches Us

"Reviewed by Ashley Allen, FACES Client Services Cooridnator"

Strength, Courage and Confidence; What Facial Difference Teaches Us" by Jennifer Wallace, tells the story of the second generation of craniofacial reconstruction. Wallace was born with a hemangioma on the front of her face and endured years of reconstructive sugeries to fix it. It speaks volumes of how this generation has a "go out and face the world" attitude. They are not ashamed of their disfigurement like the previous generation was made to feel. Our society has made the world feel like it isn't worth living in if you are not physically perfect. She tells stories of being ridiculed at school, but learned to defend herself and stand up against those that thought she should be put behind closed doors. The author breaks down all of these barriers. Wallace's book is the first book about disfigurement that I have read, that really explains the psychological/emotional impact. I laughed at a great deal of the things she touched on such as various injuries she would obtain from playing with the neighborhood children. Her parents would always panic and she was the one who had to calm them down! I cried at the stories of not being selected as the best friend or not being asked on a date simply because of her appearances. I loved that the birth defect was not the center focal point in her life. She was in Girl Scouts, swam on the swim team, played volleyball, got good grades and went on to graduate from Smith College. She did 'normal' things. Her mother and father empowered her with a sense of control by having her answer the questions of inquisitive people. Her parents did not hold her back from achieving her potential as a lot of parents with children with special needs do.

This book gave the best of both worlds-the patient's own experience and excerpts from her mother's diary. The question and answer section about hemangiomas was terrific. It breaks down information from complex medical language to ordinary laymen's terms. This must have come naturally sincer her very own surgeon did that for her as a child so she would feel comfortable and understand what was happening to her. The last two chapters of the book talk about so many of the issues that I talk about with my clients on a daily basis. She discusses everything-how parents cope; how siblings react; whether or not to shield the child from public view; whether or not to raise the child differently than that of her siblings; how to deal with peer interaction; empowering the child with social confidence; and how to comfort the child's different emotions through the different stages of growing up.

This book was wonderful. Thank you so much for discussing exactly what it is that facial difference teaches us. Finally! Someone from my generation has spoken!